It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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