is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
