we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
