I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
