I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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