You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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