On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
