People with herpes should wear stickers.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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