Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize