Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize