I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize