THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
