These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
soo... how was my night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
