whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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