I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
