I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
