butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
