i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
