someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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