hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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