No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
