I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize