You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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