Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
