My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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