so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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