I hate your face
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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