oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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