I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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