he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
