Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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