i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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