you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
