All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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