are you still at the devil's house?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
