The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize