well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I understand Curling. That high.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
