thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Boobs speak an international language.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
