Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
