Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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