that's an acceptable place to lick
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
