Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That accounts for only three of the penises
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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