Who did Billy Mays play for?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
