she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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