Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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