As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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