As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
