I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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