Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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