We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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