Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
the raccoons are back...
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