you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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