I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
