And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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