I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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