I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
