it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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