He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
tell me about the fingering
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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