4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
