Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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