So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
