My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize