Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
